BIBLIOLICIOUSLY TO YOU…
Jacque Flyleaf: Welcome everyone to our support group Bibliolicious, or, aka, Overbooked, for those who just have trouble consuming way too many books. The other group which meets on Tuesdays is more properly suited for those who are simply overglancers. You know, when they come to a red octagon, first it’s stop, then pots, spot, and then, even adjusting the sound of the “O”, stoop, while slouching ahead of backed up traffic. No, our boys here just over ingest what’s between my namesake, one down, another to go. They just can’t put a good or mediocre hardcover down. We try here to indulge our members just a little, so they may wean themselves from mother’s papier, trying to turn down the volume so to speak. *Remember you’re just a bibliophile for a while-the library can and does close. We bring them down from tome, volume, novel, novella and abstract and back up again in reverse, but, safely. And no closet reading while dining, subwaying, or, to counter texters one is with (no virtual readers here). We also employ a novel (excuse the expression) technique to wear out the bookie. We force them to read aloud each and every book. It is thought that they continually hearing their own voice will tire of it and cease reading for a time. However, it has recently been discovered that these newborn Chapterholics have now developed an addiction to hearing the work. They now seek their audio fix from others at all hours and in every situation, even demanding rote memory with page citation. Desperate indeed! This new support group is now in the process and is entitled “Hear Ye, Hear Ye”. So much for the introductory or preface. I now grant the floor to our newest member, will you welcome Natch A. Pageturner.
Natch A. Pageturner: Thank you so much for that kind intro Dr. ‘Leaf. I first would like to regale my fellow booksmiths with my own ludicrous and tawdry tale that brought me here. My bibliomania began in of all places, the library at P.S. Eliot High, #45. And, ironically, I can attest that not only can libraries close, but they do and did. Yes, after hours I found myself locked and ensconced in literary heaven. Spotting a heavy leather work with someone’s initials “KJV”, I found my inspiration which has placeholdered me here before you. Yes, in that very book under again a fortuitous 45 I found the following: “…my tongue is the pen of a ready writer.” However, due to my midday denial of the cafeteria fare (nonsloppy joes) the starving state of my brain read it as: “Who among men is a more ready reader”. I afterwards found out that I was a unique victim of that contrarian condition of sub sugared induced and over honeyed revelation. A spherical breath freshener besides the book counter could’ve spared you my presence today-but such is life. I shall now assume my position and begin our mutual therapies-aloud of course.
Jacque Flyleaf: As shall soon be evident, this is not for the faint of heart. And, Natch’s case is not unusual. So, I ask for patience and understanding as he embarks on his first phase of downsizing and recovery.
Natch A. Pageturner: As they say, my life is that apparent book. I hold in my left hand the opened tome spine atingling “War and Peace”, and, via the right, “The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire”. I shall soliloquize each alternating page of these works. Should I finish one before the other, Latin shall further befall the Empire, or, I shall Slavishly go on for Mr. Tolstoy. Or, for brevity’s sake, I may blend the two….” Well, Prince, It was the best of times, it was the worst of times….”. And, please be kind and refrain from calendar surfing….